I think weve grown apart over the years but we still had a comfortable and affectionate relationship. You should have enough self-control and enough respect for your partner to not even go there. I am determined to hear what you would have to say about my situation I honestly need some help and feedback I have no support where I live just negativity thats it my family doesnt understand how I feel at all please Heather if there is any way possible please write back please. I love him so much and wish things were different, but Ill be strong for my boys they need me much more then my husband ever did. Any time i try to talk to her to tell her the pain I am going thru being apart from my kids and missing her but she gets upset then she blocks my phone and texts. I came home from work and he was downstairs crying and moaning. You actually grow new neurological pathways for pain. You have known him for a week and you invite him into my bed with our children and you get suspiciously soo tired your eyes are rolling to the back of your head??? People need real information or else they divorce prematurely and they often go on to divorce again and again (more research!). I feel blessed every day just to have what I have, even in this situation at least I have two beautiful kids. You can NOT continue to live this way, and I am so sorry you have been going through this. Im devastated. I dont know how youre not happy when Ive given you everything in the world I dont think youll ever realize what kind of devastation caused our family. Paul thats interesting. Cant eat or sleep, I feel depressed. I have 2 ds and am left absolutely distraught. Six months since I left him for another man. Hardly functioning, feeling helpless. Having children does not entitle you to a handicap parking spot., The life I imagined crashed before me and fell to pieces. She is looking for a new Hm and we are still all in the same house. 4 years ago my husband came home and announced he was thinking of divorce. Oh gosh Im sorry for your pain. Although I was half expecting it in the weeks leading up to the night we separated, the impact was greater than anything I have experienced. very hard. His excuse is he doesnt want the government involved. Im going to make what might seem a peculiar suggestion, for the sake of those who cannot get over something like this. He is not the man I have been with for the last 15 years My job prevented me from being at 4 treatments. If it wasnt for my children, I would leave this earth. My wife of 20 years asked me to move out 33 days ago we have 3 kids together two boys 6 and 19 and a 13 year old girl. He worked through the anger already. I understand. I feel very sad this happened to you but if she is leaving so quick without giving you a fair chance she may just be a self-centered person. We got a house then tried for another baby. They are fine. I was with my ex wife for 18 years 13 of marriage. So, dont sabotage your happiness just because your husband left you, and contact these incredible coaches to receive personalized advice about your love life. He acts like he hates me and he told me at Christmas that he is sick of me and he doesnt care if i stay or left but,i can leave the kids. But the acceptance that he is gone from life doesnt make me hurt any less Being a husband and a dad every day. We have tried marriage counciling but are in a state of wait and see. I have a personality disorder and I know from info I have from my psychiatrist, John Hopkins U and the Mayo Clinic to name a few that personality disorders do have a genetic component. All was hunky dory but hes a moody sort and were back to I hate it the house, neighbourhood etc. Top 5 Reasons a Partner Leaves (and How to Cope). Then one night he did not come home until 5:30am. I cry more for my son who looks confused and thinks when Im on the phone its daddy. Im married since 11 months my wife is very sensitive and warm hearted.. one big reason for her change,A year ago she quit taking antidepressant meds cold turkey and went through menopause at the same time, and it made her change not just mentally, but physically she totally changed her appearance. But I give. Now he stops communicating with anyone that tries to talk him in to reconciliation. I hope to find a better job and will be the best dad I can be to my kids. I have been married just for 8 months and my husband has abandoned the house. I have fantastic close friends and an even better-extended family. I just wanted a quick fix or at least something that made it definite, an answer, to know there was someone else.I wish I had something else to tell you. And this time the affair has bn going on for 10 months. And I never told her of my past until we started to drift apart sexually after the birth of our second child, which was 6 years into the marriage. LOL. For me Im hoping we can get back to normal but there is some doubt. Then the on the Wednesday he told me he was leaving. it explains all the reasons that Iv ever left a relationship or been dumped (but that only happened once). Earlier that day she had told my mom she was leaving again but not in a bad way. I asked him to leave in my anger and three days later while I was at work he moved out without telling me. I have been married for 27 years and we dated for 4 years. As for me, i dont want to be in the same time zone as my estranged wife And when the kids are both out of the house, I fully intend to leave the continent. Because i was not dressed for it and i am not comfortable with my body. Or he /she is crazy!!! Im sorry that you have to go through this, but all the pain youre feeling is valid. Its hard to think that way. But there isnt anything other than try to focus on your kids. Ive lost my wife, best friend, kids as Im not in a state to see them and daily fatherly contCt. my husband and I been together since August of 2011 off and on and but we got married in 2014 but at one point we were broken up for a few months before we got back together, we both were seeing other people, and I told him about it when he asked before we got back together but the people text were still on my old phone and he saw it and just decided to end us I dont understand how he can do this after we told each other that we talked to other people when we werent together, like its so messed up because hes been cheated on me almost our whole relationship idk what to do I love him and I want us to work but the fact that his mad about somethings that happened when we werent together is messed up and Im just supposed to be okay with everything hes done me none of this makes sense, Im really hurt and I dont know what to do with myself :'(. What about when you discover hes gay..by discovering multiple affairs he has had? I screamed into the . I froze that moment then 6 years later I was traumatized again. Then I cant get in touch,feels weird and horrible. But its almost sociopathic, I think, to be so accommodating to the same person that you were in a self- described toxic relationship with and a partner that you couldnt ever communicate with and now be completely calm and methodical with. I just dont understand why she would lie to me after all the love weve shared all this time. The older teen will be an adult in just over a year and I am hoping her role as caregiver does not distract her from studies or delay college. He finally moved out after telling the kids he had to find true happiness. I slowly rebuilt myself through counseling for over a year, meditation (I used the Calm app every night). I still work full time. He is talking of selling the family home. I was upset and he kept making fun of me and saying that he just follows the kids and that he is not waiting until the princess is happy. Men want to feel and express the love they have for their spouses. My exwife left me for some guy she meet at a club and he choked her to death. I cannot tell you how many exs I have that say they never believed I would ever leave. Its been a week and everyday I tell her I love her and she never says it back, the week she wanted the separation I had a sezuire and she was right there beside the hospital bed crying and even when we went home she had trouble sleeping wanting to make sure Im was ok then a couple days later boom she leaves me. By the time I left, I hardly knew who I was anymore. Now, he took us yesterday to a amusement park and it started off fun, but, we had a discussion saying that he would take the kids to the waterpark area and i asked how long would they be there? It totally sucks .glad to hear youre hanging in there, we have no choice. I just cant understand. Be selfish. When I came back to get rental I found hidden inside a mint bottle Vicodin and soma pills that were in two sets of boxes. Since that day, naturally, nothing has been the same I still love him very much and care for him but I feel like we arent meant to be together anymore. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. She went to her mothers. This story was written by Niamh Tracey of Dublin, Ireland. God has the peace you seek. I will never get over this, I am hurting so much. Theres no right or wrong way to grieve a relationship, but there are ways you can help yourself and find closure. And meeting another woman again is very difficult now for many of us single men too, now that Feminism is everywhere these days, Ok have to jump in here and say that half this list was well debated by surviving marriage members, who salvaged most the married groups helpful comments to suffering people going through the same similar situations advocated for on this list, leaving me to ponder this probably being horrible advice from the same site since many or Ill have ruined most my own relationships let me at least try to clear things up for honest hurting folks, people leave for 1 simple reason so both sides pay attention so your aware of whats up what you are really doing and choosing simple really they want to get that? What determines a family in 2019? and I dont know what to do. I want to move back to Florida and i just dont think its worth us fighting to save the marriage anymore. Im living the same right now married 12 years and 2 kids 9 and 11 yrs old. To which I protested and she got off the phone with me. This was like reading my exact situation of 3 years with a narrsastic man! Grass is not always greener and a lot of times they are then in a new relatioship only to wakeup one day and find they feel exactly the same as they did in the previous relationship .Talk to each other sort problems out no one is perfect dont badmouth the other person . Hi Jon We have three kids together. Hes not sad, he goes out and parties with his friends during his parenting time with our son. Abuse is never okay, and help is available if you are experiencing it. I know how you feel Matt, im so sorry for you. I dont want to hear oh hes a jerk for leaving or he probably found someone else. Im sad, I want him back more than anything else in my life, so right now I cant think past hoping my phone rings, that he emails me, comes back to me..cause truth is, he probably isnt and I dont want to deal and dont know how to deal with that. Part of me thinks shes simply selfish and refuses to work out our problems. Thank u for replying. My very best wishes to you all. She would tell me that she doesnt love me right now or not coming back right now. Ive suspected there is another involved but have no concrete evidence other than intuition & one or two very suspicious epidodes, combined with secrecy from her, as opposed to privacy. I think its midlife crisis. God bless you. She tells me her love life with her husband could never reach the level that her and I have. He drove all the way home at midnight. A common example would be a major medical illness. Im 33. While he may have chosen to leave because he felt unhappy, unfulfilled, or whatever else, you mustn't start believing that you're somehow responsible for his choices. Im a good person, loving, caring, giving and trustworthy. She saw no reason to be together and attempted no solution to work it out. Fact is- the reality might be harsher now. Well the next week she filed a pfa against me to leverage her getting the kids half time and support paying child support. A year and half later my wife decided to cheat on me with my next door neighbour (touching not sex and the lead in emotional affair) I never really got a good reason to why it happened and she didnt really seem sorry for her actions I struggled with this blow and the trust I had for her was shattered. His father, a minister, married us. It hurts to have been so stupid to believe she ever wanted it back at all, probably just guilt for what she did. Its just going to crush me down the rd seeing her with another man. He left me broke. What about when he abandons you because you wont be his beard anymore? No way! He would never compromise nit even come home 1 time a week to have supper as a family hes a workaholic Now hes not happy because Ivehad anger issues so I went to get help since I too realizes I have to work on myself and I changed.my kids see it.however apparently I didnt change enough. Where r u? I honestly never thought I would recover but it was a blessing in disguise because now I have my own home and am absolutely loving life. How to cope: This is a great opportunity and time to ask yourself what you want to do with your time and how you want to live. I insisted on leaving the house as my parents live close and he still couldnt stay here and he left and stayed 45mins away in a hotel. When its over When you split up, you may find it very hard to let go of your ex-partner. Hey there all. It sounds like hes pretty unhappy, and possibly with himself. I suspected something was going on with her why she broke and i taught she was seeing someone and maybe this guy from before.. I dont think I will ever be able to understand it and it scares the HELL out of me when once in a while I think I get inside of his mind what he thought process was to abuse me. It wasnt until I became a single parent that I really began to understand how much of a taboo subject it still is.